No way am I moving back in with my parents!! Or, yes, that's exactly what I want to do but they don't want me any more. I'm 36 years old and I have no place to go, whaaaaaaaa!!
I'm not talking about freeloading. I'm talking about sharing a home and the expenses.
Maybe neither of you have much money and by joining forces you can improve your standard of living.
My mother and I have been sharing a home for twenty-one years in this last go around. We shared a home for the first 18 years of my life, to which I contributed very little if anything. Then I moved out for about 12 years, somewhat on my own. Whenever I needed a free meal I could always "drop in for a visit". Lucky for my mom, she wasn't that good a cook so I didn't come by every night and eat up her food.
After I was diagnosed with MS, we thought it might be a good idea to move to an area where life was less stressful and we'd be closer to our relatives. We returned to the family stomping grounds, and many a summer adventure for me, and purchased a home that we then renovated into two full houses and a large office space.
We have separate electric and natural gas bills, but share the water and the alarm system. We also have a shared laundry room accessible from either side of the house. The lot is 3/4 of an acre giving us ample room to plant vegetable and flower gardens, put in a swing set for my daughter and grow nut and fruit trees. Now and then the deer and squirrels let us have some fruit and nuts. We also share the cost of the property taxes and property insurance. We insure our cars together for discounts. My mom pays the AAA fee and I pay for the family cell phone plan. The wireless wifi covers my mom's side of the house as well.
Neither of us could live as well if we lived alone. And there are the non-cash extras such as the time my daughter and my mother get to spend together since they live in the same house. The ease we have in caring for each other when sickness hits since we live in the same house.
We do have separate kitchens and buy separate groceries. It works for us and we planned to live together for a long time when we moved in here so we set it up to work with an eye toward both privacy and togetherness.
Maybe your parents have a large home that you have the money to renovate into something workable for both of you. What would it take minimum? An extra bathroom, a small kitchen and a separate entrance. I think both parties need to be able to come and go without going through the other's space and prepare a private meal. Some newer homes are now being planned with an in-law or grandparents suite already included. When one side is no longer needed, the extra home space could be rented or utilized by another relative -- sibling? aunt? uncle? who'd work well in a similar arrangement.
Maybe neither of you has a suitable home and need to sell both current homes and buy or build something new. That's what my mom and I did. Neither of us owned a home large enough to accommodate both of us and an office, so we sold what we had and bought something we could mold into exactly what we needed and raise both our standards of living.
This might not work for you at all, but it's certainly something to consider if making ends meet isn't as easy as it used to be. Living side by side will make it easier to share as many expenses as possible especially the largest -- property taxes, property insurance and the mortgage. Also, if your parent, or you, ever needs someone around to make sure everything is "all right" there's no need to make an extra trip or interrupt the day to check on your parent, just open a door and say hello.
It will take some working out, maybe even some growing up -- for parent and child -- but I don't subscribe to the do-it-all-on-your-own theory. I think families should help each other out as much as they can when necessary. Many things might not be possible but surely a warm, dry place to live with a little food on the table can be achieved with a some forethought and consideration.
And if incomes are low enough, there might be some tax implications to consider. There's nothing wrong with being a boomerang kid as long as you hold up your end of the boomerang.
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